I have been studying with Ido Portal for almost a decade now, and I do not think I have been able to communicate the experience of it clearly so far, and I cannot promise that this attempt will be much better than the previous ones. The scattered bits and pieces of ideas that I share via public channels do not and cannot explain the depth and breadth of what I am learning and how far it can go. To be fair, I do not even think it is possible to describe it, because the man himself and his teachings are so elusive that when you try to put a name on it, in a second it is already outdated. The only clear definition that can be made here is that of constant change.
I did not find Ido because I was searching for it, at least not in a conscious way. It was a coincidence, a chance. One of those times that later on you reflect on and realize that the possibility of it happening is about 1 in 1000000000. My motivation at the beginning was simple: I was interested in learning how to do a handstand, do stuff on the rings, and gain some mobility. I believe this is true for the first contact of vast majority of people. I won't lie: at the beginning it was pretty hard because back then you could not choose the amount of time you practiced. It was either at least 6 hours, or they would not work with you at all. This, like many other things, has changed over time, but I am actually really grateful that I went through this experience because it taught me a lot. Today I understand that no less than 24 hours are enough to call oneself a Practitioner, but this is a totally different story.
Despite the mundane interest I had toward what Ido was offering, I think from the very beginning there was something in me that felt that there is much more to it than just the training I was doing. And boy, I needed it at that time. Without any conscious realization on my part, however. I do not want to get into details of my life, but it puts the whole thing in context, so bear with me for a moment. I found Ido’s work during a very dark period, and probably this is the main reason why I was eventually able to stick to it and get through on the other side. The first few years I used it as a numbing agent, a way to distract myself and to tire myself so I could sleep at night. But this approach soon proved to be unsustainable, and I ran into the wall. The first reflex is always to blame the external, so I thought maybe this is not for me at all. However, stubbornness prevailed, and I continued insisting on it until I injured myself badly. It was a first point of inflection and a huge change in my relationship to the practice that eventually helped me see deeper. Today I am incredibly grateful that it happened.
My problem that did not allow me to see through, which I believe is the same for many other people, was the identification with the skill, strength, and even the size of my muscles—everything that makes up your persona, but complete lack of interest in what constitutes my essence. When the moment came, and I could no longer do the things I liked and was proud of, it clearly showed me that there is little worth behind the facade. I was running like a donkey behind the carrot, chasing the illusions. When the facade started to crack, it forced me to truly face myself for the first time in life. What I saw was not something pretty to look at: a central square holy fool, a Quasimodo that did not want to be seen in the light of day. This is a shocking truth to realize, but also the most normal one, too. We do not take much time to reflect back and truly see behind the mask we are wearing all the time, just floating about as if it is the most normal thing to do. However, when we are given a chance to and are courageous enough to follow through, this is the moment when we position ourselves on the imaginary “line passing in the middle of each person’s heart” described so masterfully by Solzhenitsyn. Being in the middle and seeing all the options gives us a choice that we otherwise don’t have.
This brings me to the main point. The Movement practice, which is known best for its beautiful shiny tricks, is so much more than that. But we often tend "to chew on the cup" instead of drinking the water in it. Being unable to distinguish the content from its container, one is left with a phantom of what he could be. A shell with no filling. Because the real thing does exactly that: it turns the mirror toward yourself, and looking into that mirror is the act of the brave ones. I cannot and try not to speak on behalf of someone else, but I will take a risk of being wrong and suggest this: what Ido Portal is doing is help you to map the distance between who you are now and who you could become. When he puts you in the space between these two points, there is no escape. Only in this place the possibility of change exists. Even if you choose not to participate in the process, the seed will always stay inside, and it will create friction. This distance will always exist, there will be always space to expand into while we are breathing, and this is a beautiful thing!
I have never met a person who is so invested in the growth of others as Ido Portal. He is a master at pulling out the best in everyone in the room. He uses a myriad of tools to keep you on it: movements, partners, metaphors, humor, intimidation, shock, approval, criticism, and on and on. He is capable of finding a key for everyone, saying the right word at the right moment, or not saying anything at all sometimes, and the gears inside of you start turning, the facade starts crumbling, you start to see clearly all the lies you have been telling yourself for years. All the habits, all the patterns start to peel away if you let it, and a whole new world of opportunity opens in front of you. An opportunity for becoming.
The ideas he talks about are deep and touching, you see it on people’s faces when they hear them. The expression is often anything between horror, boredom, disgust, and disbelief. For me they seem incredibly liberating. But in order to see that side, I had to allow something inside of myself to die first, and it is not a process that is easy to engage with.
The most fascinating thing to me is that after almost a decade of being involved with this practice, every time I meet Ido, he still makes me change. Every single time he offers you required support so you can take necessary steps to transform yourself. When you stumble, he is there to not allow you to deviate from the path. It is important to understand that nobody can do it for you, but we all need assistance when we need to make difficult choices. This is what a teacher is for. Not to indoctrinate you, not to make you a copy of himself, but to indicate a process with which you can find a way to yourself, show you the blind spots that otherwise you would not dare to look at, and help when it is most needed,
People often ask me why I keep coming back again and again, what new can I learn after so many years from the same person? It seems cultish and restrictive to them from the outside, they don’t understand what I am doing with all that. I stopped answering that question, I stopped trying to convince people of anything. I just smile back and say little in return because, in any case, words are not a good medium, even though a necessary one. For everyone who is interested in an answer: consider this writing an attempt to respond. The incompleteness of verbal communication is the reason I have created a space where I try to show people what is possible and how they can find themselves through physical practice. Trying to share a fraction of what I am getting from my teachers with others, because I know how much value it can bring to their lives. Words are too poor of a tool to do it any justice. I prefer to be doing my practice somewhere instead of talking about it, so find me there and join if you are truly interested in knowing. What are the questions that can be easily answered worth, anyway?